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March 01

只能看,不能读

1、赵元任《施氏食狮史》
      
    石室诗士施氏,嗜狮,誓食十狮。施氏时时适市视狮。十时,适十狮适市。是时,适施氏适市。氏视是十狮,恃矢势,使是十狮逝世。氏拾是十狮尸,适石室。石室湿,氏使侍拭石室。石室拭,氏始试食是十狮。食时,始识是十狮,实十石狮尸。试释是事。
  
  2、杨富森<<于瑜与余欲渔遇雨>>
  
  
  
   于瑜欲渔,遇余于寓。语余:“余欲渔于渝淤,与余渔渝欤?”
   余语于瑜:“余欲鬻玉,俞禹欲玉,余欲遇俞于俞寓。”
    余与于瑜遇俞禹于俞寓,逾俞隅,欲鬻玉于俞,遇雨,雨逾俞宇。余语于瑜:“余欲渔于渝淤,遇雨俞寓,雨逾俞宇,欲渔欤?鬻玉欤?”
    于瑜与余御雨于俞寓,俞鬻玉于余禹,雨愈,余与于瑜踽踽逾俞宇,渔于渝淤。
  
  3、《季姬击鸡记》
  
  
    季姬寂,集鸡,鸡即棘鸡。棘鸡饥叽,季姬及箕稷济鸡。鸡既济,跻姬笈,季姬忌,急咭鸡,鸡急,继圾几,季姬急,即籍箕击鸡,箕疾击几伎,伎即齑,鸡叽集几基,季姬急极屐击鸡,鸡既殛,季姬激,即记《季姬击鸡记》。
  
  
  
  4、《遗镒疑医》
  
  
    伊姨殪,遗亿镒。伊诣邑,意医姨疫,一医医伊姨。翌,亿镒遗,疑医,以议医。医以伊疑,缢,以移伊疑。伊倚椅以忆,忆以亿镒遗,以议伊医,亦缢。噫!亦异矣!
    
  5、《易姨医胰》
  
  
    易姨悒悒,依议诣夷医。医疑胰疫,遗意易姨倚椅,以异仪移姨胰,弋异蚁一亿,胰液溢,蚁殪,胰以医。易胰怡怡,贻医一夷衣。医衣夷衣,怡怡奕奕。噫!以蚁医胰,异矣!以夷衣贻夷医亦宜矣!
    
  6、 赵元任《熙戏犀》
  
  
    西溪犀,喜嬉戏。席熙夕夕携犀徙,席熙细细习洗犀。犀吸溪,戏袭熙。席熙嘻嘻希息戏。惜犀嘶嘶喜袭熙。
    
  7、《饥鸡集矶记》
  
  
    唧唧鸡,鸡唧唧。几鸡挤挤集矶脊。机极疾,鸡饥极,鸡冀己技击及鲫。机既济蓟畿,鸡计疾机激几鲫。机疾极,鲫极悸,急急挤集矶级际。继即鲫迹极寂寂,继即几鸡既饥,即唧唧。
    
  8、《侄治痔》
  
  
  
   芝之稚侄郅,至智,知制纸,知织帜,芝痔炙痔,侄至芝址,知之知芷汁治痔,至芷址,执芷枝,蜘至,踯侄,执直枝掷之,蜘止,侄执芷枝至芝,芝执芷治痔,痔止。
    
  9、 最后也是最厉害的:
  
  
    《羿裔熠邑彝》
    羿裔熠①,邑②彝,义医,艺诣。
    熠姨遗一裔伊③,伊仪迤,衣旖,异奕矣。
    熠意④伊矣,易衣以贻伊,伊遗衣,衣异衣以意异熠,熠抑矣。
    伊驿邑,弋一翳⑤,弈毅⑥。毅仪奕,诣弈,衣异,意逸。毅诣伊,益伊,伊怡,已臆⑦毅矣,毅亦怡伊。
    翌,伊亦弈毅。毅以蜴贻伊,伊亦贻衣以毅。
    伊疫,呓毅,癔异矣,倚椅咿咿,毅亦咿咿。
    毅诣熠,意以熠,议熠医伊,熠懿⑧毅,意役毅逸。毅以熠宜伊,翼逸。
    熠驿邑以医伊,疑伊胰痍⑨,以蚁医伊,伊遗异,溢,伊咦。熠移伊,刈薏⑩以医,伊益矣。
    伊忆毅,亦呓毅矣,熠意伊毅已逸,熠意役伊。伊异,噫,缢。
    熠癔,亦缢。
  
  
  
    注解:
    ①熠:医生,据说为后羿的后裔。
    ②邑:以彝为邑,指居住在一个彝族聚居的地方。
    ③伊:绝世佳丽,仪态万方,神采奕奕。
    ④意:对伊有意思,指熠爱上了伊。
    ⑤翳:有遮蔽的地方,指伊游弋到了一个阴凉的地方。
    ⑥毅:逍遥不羁的浪人,善于下棋,神情坚毅,目光飘逸。
    ⑦臆:主观的感觉,通“意”,指对毅有好感。
    ⑧懿:原意为“懿旨”,此处引申为要挟,命令。
    ⑨胰痍:胰脏出现了疮痍。
    ⑩刈:割下草或者谷物一类。薏:薏米,白色,可供食用,也可入药。
November 14

8 WAYS to KILL someone By using IPOD nano

EIGHT WAYS
TO KILL SOMEONE
BY USING AN IPOD NANO,
ACCORDING TO
EX-MARINE
BRAD COLLUM.

BY KEVIN FLEMING

- - - -

1. Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen's broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.

2. Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Nano in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple.

3. Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun's ray and shine it in a vehicle driver's eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience like a phallus, you can use the same technique.

4. The cord on the earbud headphones can be used to strangle someone. A knee in the back can give extra leverage.

5. Dig a pit about 5 feet deep, then take about 15 3-foot-long stakes 2 inches in diameter and sharpen one end to a fine point, like a very sharp pencil. Jam the sticks at least a foot into the ground, with the sharp ends pointing up. Cover the hole with pine boughs, grass, and leaves. Treat the Nano like a slice of cheese pizza in a deep, hot oven and place it gently in the middle.

6. Carefully unstaple a tea bag and pour the contents on a plate. Break into the lithium-ion battery pack and saturate the tea with the battery's poison, then dry the tea in the sun (or with a hair dryer if you are in a hurry). Put tea back in tea bag and bend the staple back to its original position. Put the tea bag back where you got it.

7. Download to the Nano "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters. Tell someone you will give him or her your Nano if they listen to that song a hundred times in a row.

8. Hide the Nano in a bowl of lutefisk, then take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota.  热烈的笑脸

October 03

Music

 
August 29

通告

 
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